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CLEMMIE MOODIE
Prison’s ‘misgendering’ apology to trans rapist Isla Bryson will fuel hatred, not stop it
Good news for Britain's work-shy layabouts
DOUBLE rapist Isla Bryson, who claims to be a woman but was imprisoned after using “her penis” to violently assault two women, has been GROSSLY mistreated.
The lovely lady, who has two huge facial tattoos like Mike Tyson, isn’t allowed to wear her favourite make-up while serving time.
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The misunderstood, Maybelline-craving sweetheart also claims to be the victim of hate crime after being called “son” by a prison guard.
Now the prison responsible for housing this XY-chromosomed lovely has been forced to apologise to Bryson.
In a farcical abuse of the system/political correctness, HMP Edinburgh’s governor has said sorry to the man born Adam Graham.
A monster.
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Whether Bryson’s letter of complaint came in days before or after Scotland’s Hate Crime law came into effect, is unclear.
But what is crystal clear, is that in no world should anyone be apologising to this excuse of a human being, male or female.
When Scotland’s first minister Humza Yousaf passed this groupthink law, his critics — like JK Rowling — forewarned against such possibilities.
Yet Yousaf claimed the new law would deal with the “rising tide of hatred”.
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Instead, by being open to potential abuse — in this instance by a cretin in a blonde wig and dubiously filled leggings — it serves only to fuel resentment, disbelief and anger.
Rowling claimed: “The new legislation is wide open to abuse by activists . . . the nonsense made of crime data if violent and sexual assaults committed by men are recorded as female crimes . . . and the reality and immutability of biological sex.”
I was wrong to say all trans women are women, Labour's Wes Streeting tells Never Mind The Ballots
Under the legislation, anyone who feels a crime has been committed can make a complaint anonymously through an online portal — and doesn’t have to speak directly to the police.
Feel a bit aggrieved? Report it. Had a dodgy haircut in Toni & Guy? Report it, get the hairdresser sacked and ensure a full refund — and damages — for the very terrifying violation of your human rights to have a level fringe.
That “Isla”, whose estranged wife claimed her former partner’s transition was a “sham for attention”, will now have her pronouns respected, and be allowed some snazzy blusher, will come as a real relief to her poor victims.
To those whose lives she destroyed using her very male genitalia.
And to the female prisoners with whom this opportunist was initially incarcerated.
(Let’s not forget his/her KC tried using his/her transition to get him/her cleared of rape on the basis that “she is aiming to continue on that path to becoming female gender, [and] that goes a long way to acquitting her of these charges”.)
The 32-year-old, sentenced to eight years meaning, presumably, she’ll serve a fraction of this, wrote to her local paper, moaning about dealing with transphobia and that staff “refuse to put any female toiletries or make-up out”.
In this instance, it’s not this dog’s dinner of a law that’s the problem.
It has some very good intentions.
It’s that authorities living in its shadow now find themselves utterly hamstrung, walking on eggshells and being forced to apologise for utterly ridiculous things.
And that’s dangerous.
As one user on X posted: “How very aggrieved has this young lady been?
“Miss Bryson should be released forthwith and allowed to live as her authentic self.
“Her ‘victims’ should be arrested if they complain. It’s only fair.”
Worryingly, this isn’t a world away.
TV star Ruth is just like the vest of us
HOW humbling to see 50,000 runners completing the gruelling London Marathon on Sunday.
While “running the marathon” may have become some of my friends’ sole identity these past few months, there’s no taking away from the achievement.
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Refreshing, too, to see ex-athletes, Hollywood stars and politicians all running the same course and experiencing the same nipple rub, Portaloo hell and mile 17-hitting-of-the-wall as everyone else.
Take Ruth Wilson.
The Golden Globe-winning actress running for her dad, was raising money for Alzheimer’s Research.
And, like the other 49,999 runners, she was trotting along with her name proudly emblazoned across her vest.
Sport really is the greatest leveller.
Posh's PR went loo-py
HAPPY 50th to Victoria Beckham, who appears to have been on a solid champagne bender for a good week now.
Anyway.
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It’s genuinely lovely to see her finally coming into her own – no longer “just” a Spice Girl, Wag, Mum, or woman-incapable-of-smiling.
Finally the public are seeing what her mates have for years.
While I am absolutely not professing to be a pal, my favourite Posh memory is bumping into her at Elton John’s Oscars party in LA about ten years ago.
She was mild-to-middlingly tipsy, and queuing for the Portaloos.
After beckoning me over, and asking for a selfie, she then sent it to her publicist, adding: “Met this lovely girl in the toilets, she looks familiar.
“Told her all about David and our various problems.”
Nanoseconds later I received a screeching text from said PR: “BACK OFF BIATCH. NOW!!!!!”
Sadiq Khan’s lawless London
ON Sunday night my mate got his car nicked.
Thieves, using one of these electronic devices capable of hacking into anti-theft locking devices, brazenly stole the vehicle from his London driveway.
Obviously the police aren’t doing much about it – despite it all being captured on camera – installed, at some expense, for precisely this reason.
“Sadiq Khan’s lawless London at its best,” he ranted over WhatsApp.
Meanwhile, my useless vehicle has just given up the ghost and I’ve been told I should cut my losses and get a new one.
So I now need to fork out a few grand on a car I don’t want, on roads I can only drive 20mph on.
Cheers, Sadiq.
Work shy winners
MIDDLE-AGED patients are being encouraged to carry out their own DIY health checks on the NHS app.
And in an effort to free up overwhelmed GPs, convalescents are now able to apply for their own sick notes.
What could POSSIBLY go wrong?
Work-shy layabouts, not fancying a day in the office, self-diagnosing a range of increasingly ridiculous ailments, that’s what.
Dawn's kind of right
ALL hail Dawn French. The comedienne has spoken out against cancel culture, explaining how those with a platform are too scared to speak up for fear of backlash.
And she’s correct.
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In an effort to be all things to all people – kind, inclusive and suitably 2024 on-brand – we’re also lashing out at those who get one word wrong.
Which isn’t kind.
She said: “We’re all talking about inclusivity and favouring difference and all the rest of it.
“And that’s all great. I love the idea of that, but that’s not how we’re living.
“We’re living the opposite of that.
“We’re massively intolerant, quick to blame – litigation, trolling and all of this dreadful stuff – which has got nothing to do with understanding how other human beings operate.”
Code of honour
THIS is absolutely the way forward.
A QR code has been set up on the giant marble headstone of late bare-knuckle boxer Willy Collins, which lets family and friends see videos and photos of his life.
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When I die, I MOST DEFINITELY want a “best bits” montage.
It should be available, on loop – a hugely flattering montage of my greatest, revisionist-history achievements and heavily-filtered photographs.
Woke worries
POOR Mum’s no longer shuffling off to Iceland for her frozen chips.
The supermarket chain has bowed to the cult of woke and dropped its famous “That’s why mums go to Iceland” slogan to be “more inclusive”.
What next?
Girls allowed to eat Yorkies?
Mars bars not helping you work, rest and play?
KFC’s “finger lickin’ good” campaign barred for discriminating against the arm-less?