MY REGRET
I feel guilty for cheating on my partner online with woman from Azerbaijan
My partner won’t let it drop and keeps saying I emotionally betrayed her
DEAR DEIDRE: I WENT on a singles dating site during a bad patch in my relationship and met a lady from Azerbaijan, a pharmacist.
We emailed regularly and I became very fond of her, until my partner found out.
I am 72 and my partner is 66. We have been together for 25 years.
She is a lovely lady but technically I am single, as we have never married.
She was so upset, though, so I did agree to stop talking to this lady in Azerbaijan and feel I have done my best to sort things out.
But my partner won’t let it drop and keeps saying I emotionally betrayed her.
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Recently, I have been diagnosed with dementia and I know it can cause irrational behaviour.
Going online to this site was completely out of character for me – could this be related to my recent diagnosis?
My partner has said she would have bet our house against the odds of me being unfaithful, but now she says I betrayed her. How can we move on?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You have caused her a lot of hurt but the damage is done.
Whether you are married or not, you’ve been in a committed relationship for 25 years so you are hardly single.
I’m certain your partner doesn’t see you as single either.
Dear Deidre on relationships, jealousy and envy
An emotional affair can be just as painful as a sexual one.
Going through a bad patch is no excuse to cheat but it does sound as though you acted out of character, possibly due to your dementia.
Dementia can cause people to behave inappropriately, which can make those around them feel unsettled.
Rather than fret about what’s done, apologise and focus on strengthening your relationship.
It’s not easy to keep love feeling fresh but it can be done.
My support pack Cheating – Can You Get Over It? will help you both.