IN THE DARK
Husband won’t discuss new career change plans which will hurt our finances
I feel invisible and unsure about what this all means for me
DEAR DEIDRE: SUDDENLY my husband wants a major change in career and he hasn’t thought to talk to me about it.
He works for a landscape gardening company but hopes to become a graphic designer and has enrolled a course.
I have been supportive and helped him with the application but communication with me is zero.
He will need to take out a student loan, which he only mentioned in passing.
We had plans to add an extension to our home and had planned a big holiday.
Now I’m not sure about any of this.
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I’m 41 and my husband’s 43. We have a daughter aged six.
There have been plenty of times I’ve not been able to go on courses because of no childcare but he doesn’t seem to care.
I feel invisible and unsure about what this all means for me.
We are going to take a massive dent financially and I haven’t been included in the decision.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It is natural you feel overlooked.
To you his decision seems to be spontaneous and irresponsible.
It may be that he’s been thinking about this for some time, but felt you would object so kept it to himself.
It’s a shame he didn’t feel able to discuss it with you first.
Tell him how you feel and that you worry how you will cope financially.
Be encouraging so he feels comfortable confiding in you.
My support pack Looking After Your Relationship will help.