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CLEMMIE MOODIE

NHS gender banner is more virtue-signalling madness… they need to sort waiting lists before waving flags around

This banner is being displayed by Royal Stoke Hospital, which comes under one of the worst performing Trusts in the country

BECAUSE there isn’t quite enough red tape and bureaucracy within the NHS, bosses have now thoughtfully rolled out a banner displaying 21 “genders or sexualities”.

Among these are “gender-fluid”, “polyamorous”, “aromantic”* “neutrois”** (I had to Google this gem) and “androgyne” (ditto).

Virtue-signalling NHS bosses have unfurled a banner with TWENTY-ONE different sexualities on
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Virtue-signalling NHS bosses have unfurled a banner with TWENTY-ONE different sexualities on

Still not seeing yourself represented?

How about: “agender”? No? “Demi-romantic”? Still no?

Well maybe you’re a “gay man”, or “lesbian”? We’ve all heard of them.

But still no? Hmmm.

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The prettily coloured flags are proudly displayed under a sign reading: “Everyone is welcome here.”

Everyone, seemingly that is, except a straight person.

What are you guys meant to do if you break a leg?

Slap on a tea-towel tourniquet and limp around for a bit, maybe.

The problem here is that in its very woke efforts to be something to all people, the NHS appears to be marginalising the largest section of society.

The one that largely funds the NHS. Which isn’t very inclusive at all.

'It's scandalous' the way kids questioning their gender are treated by NHS, blasts Wes Streeting

The other slight hiccup is that the rainbow flag, the traditional symbol for us LGBTQx6sCXPP60s6£3 crowd, has also, in post-Covid times, become the flag of the NHS.

So were I to see a chap proudly wearing a little rainbow badge, he could be a doctor, gay or a gay doctor. Who knows.

All I do know is that it’s very, very confusing.

And quite why we need to celebrate pansexuals and polyamorous types, which, from what I can glean, is basically the sexually greedy, those who will merrily shag anything with a pulse, I’m not too sure.

But it’s OK, because they’re a minority group. And we can’t be slamming them.

This banner is being displayed by Royal Stoke Hospital, which comes under the University Hospitals of North Midlands Trust, branded one of the worst performing Trusts in the country.

Literal flag-waving

I dunno, perhaps they’d be better-performing if they concentrated on making patients better, rather than literal flag-waving?

Now, as an LGBT person, I’m all for solidarity and kindness to all communities.

But even I can see this is virtue-signalling madness.

Trans, gay, intersex, shagging anyone — I don’t care who or what you are, or who or what you do (animals notwithstanding).

But I do care about the NHS getting its waiting lists down, patients not being forced to writhe around in pain in hospital corridors and front-line staff being chronically underpaid.

Sort this out first, then wave your flags.

*Aromantic – someone who has little or no romantic feelings towards anyone.

**Neutrois – a person who lacks a specific gender identity.

Gillian in X aisles

LAST week my friend Danny saw a woman who “looked just like Gillian Anderson”.

Ever the extrovert, Danny approached Gillian-lite over some nice courgettes on aisle eight.

Gillian McKeith on the red carpet in 2018
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Gillian McKeith on the red carpet in 2018Credit: Getty
Gillian Anderson strikes a pose in this dress
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Gillian Anderson strikes a pose in this dressCredit: Getty

It didn’t go well.

“Realised as I walked away, I told her she looked just like Gillian McKeith.

“Wondered why she looked at me with disdain, muttering, ‘I’ve not had that one before’.”

Let’s hope she’s a Sun reader.

Hannah made the right call

FAIR play to Hannah Waddingham for calling out a snapper on the red carpet.

The brilliant actress told a male photographer to “not be a d*ck” after he demanded she “showed him some leg” at the Olivier Awards.

Hannah Waddingham called out a snapper on the red carpet
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Hannah Waddingham called out a snapper on the red carpetCredit: The Mega Agency

“You’d never say that to a man,” she correctly pointed out.

While, personally, I’d be delighted, frankly, should anyone want to see any of my flesh, she’s absolutely right.

H&M so tone deaf

PRINCE Harry and Meghan have done it again: Preached one thing while doing the precise opposite themselves.

So it was with much fanfare that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, those self-proclaimed anti-poverty campaigners and feminists, announced their exciting new TV projects: For Harry, a show about polo, the most elitist sport in the world, and, for Meghan, a cookery programme.

Harry and Meg have done it again: Preached one thing while doing the precise opposite themselves
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Harry and Meg have done it again: Preached one thing while doing the precise opposite themselvesCredit: Getty

Because nothing says “ardent feminist” like making sure hubby’s supper is on the table.

And polo, for which the average, bog-standard pony costs at least £20,000, isn’t called the Sport of Kings without good reason.

Still, we could be in for a culinary treat with Meg behind the stove.

Her last cookery show saw her rustle-up a recipe for toast.

In 2015, the former Suits actress appeared at the UN Women’s conference, rampaging against gender inequality.

Meanwhile, Poverty Tsar Harry, who grew up in a palace, also lectured the UN two years ago on the unfairness of global hunger.

Around the same time, he and Meg got a reported £100million advance from Netflix and Spotify.

Now, I’m all for a free market society and the couple not sponging off the Royal Family to keep themselves living in Montecito.

But read the room, chaps.


WHY are our political parties so farcical?

If it’s not Rishi Sunak killing off Adidas, Ed Miliband dribbling a bacon sandwich or former PMs getting stuck down zipwires, now it’s the new kids on the block getting in on the act.

The Reform Party were forced to apologise after dropping a general election candidate for “doing nothing during election year” . . . only for it to transpire the poor bloke was dead.

Party spokesman Gawain Towler said he was “mortified” for publicly dropping deceased York Central candidate Tommy Cawkwell.


Vogue model mum

VOGUE WILLIAMS posted some sweet holiday snaps from St Barts, in the Caribbean, alongside husband Spencer Matthews.

So far, so inoffensive.

Vogue Williams posted some sweet holiday snaps from St Barts, in the Caribbean
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Vogue Williams posted some sweet holiday snaps from St Barts, in the CaribbeanCredit: The Mega Agency

However, the pair have bodies like Greek gods. And this riled a few peeps.

“Who looks after their kids when these two are in the gym staring into big mirrors?” asked one sweet soul.

“What has Vogue ever done exactly?” mooted another.

Well, let me help you out: Two engineering degrees, TV presenter, model, author, multi-millionaire businesswoman, happily married mother-of-three and, probably, a pretty nifty 5km run time.

Over to you, pal.


A BLEAK week for male members in Britain.

A helpful interactive map detailing the world’s smallest penises has been published.

And while Cambodia comes in last, with an “average  erect length of 3.95in (what a sentence), the UK doesn’t exactly cover itself in girthy glory.

Nope, you blokes trail in 68th, with 5.2in, apparently.

Still, it’s personality that counts, eh?


A Tayl of woe

ONCE upon a time kids grew up wanting to be doctors, nurses, lawyers, builders or astronauts.

You know, proper jobs that required a skill and/or qualifications.

Little sums up where we are today more than ITV’s latest job announcement: Taylor Swift correspondent.

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US influencer (of course) and “Taylor superfan” Tyler Conroy will be paid actual money to sit on the This Morning sofa and update viewers on Ms Swift ahead of her UK tour this summer.

What a world.

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