Jump directly to the content
Friendship

My granddaughter only goes to school when her best friend does

My little granddaughter only goes to school when her best friend goes.

If she’s off sick, my granddaughter feigns illness too.

We are grandparents. I’m Nannie and I’m 61 and my husband is 59. Our daughter is a single mum and she’s 31. Our gorgeous granddaughter is seven years old and she’s our world.

We looked after her a lot before she started full-time school and she was rarely poorly. She’s a lively little girl but she has found it difficult to make friends at big school.

She has one little friend who lives nearby and who suffers from asthma. We know her parents and there have been times when their little girl has had to go to hospital with flare-ups.

When this happens and she doesn’t go to school, our granddaughter tells her mum that she has a bad tummy at the school gate, and our daughter takes her home.

Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team

Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.

Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page or email us at:

deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

Her attendance record is as bad as her fragile little friend’s. Our daughter doesn’t see the correlation and when we’ve raised it she says, “If she’s ill, she’s ill.” 

We are worried about her education. It is so important. It may be a coincidence but our daughter never wanted to go to school either.

MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

DEIDRE SAYS: Your daughter had a dislike of school so when her own child doesn’t want to go, it takes her right back to her own childhood and she gives in to her.

But keeping her at home while her friend is off sick isn’t helping her confidence or social skills.

Talk to your granddaughter and gently remind her that if anything is bothering her at school, she can talk to her mummy.

Suggest to your daughter that it’s a good idea if she can encourage multiple friendships and perhaps invite a couple of her classmates home for a playdate, including her daughter’s friend.

The next time the child has an asthma attack, you may find your granddaughter is still happy to go to school.

Dear Deidre on relationships, jealousy and envy
Topics