Dating for single parents: essential tips and expert advice

Whether you’re a mother or a father, if you’re a single parent dating, there are plenty of potential partners just waiting to meet you

Dating for single parents - The Telegraph

Bringing up children alone is hard enough without the extra challenge of finding a new partner. However, in the era of online dating, it has never been easier to meet a match. 

In fact, as a single mum or dad, you’re not alone: 15.4% of families in the UK are lone parent families. Your perfect match could be someone else in your position. For example, if you’re a single mum, you could find yourself dating a single dad. Equally, you may find someone who simply sees you as a person rather than just a parent.

Whether you’re looking for short-term fun or a long-term relationship, get back out there with these essential tips for single parent dating.

1. Use single parent dating apps and websites 

Today, online dating is the go-to method for single people of all ages seeking everything from a quick fling to marriage. You could be among the growing number of people who fan the first flames of a relationship via the internet.

As a single parent, dating websites and apps can be a lifesaver. With work and childcare duties competing for your attention, your time is precious. Online dating allows you to chat and make plans as and when your timetable permits. 

Another benefit of using apps and websites as a single parent is that many services do the heavy lifting for you. Some platforms use a two-way match system that makes a list of potential dates for you to browse.

Of course, if you’re looking for something a little more casual, a free app can be ideal. Apps like Tinder display single people in your area, allowing you to quickly swipe left if you aren’t feeling their vibe, or swipe right if you’d like to chat – if they also swipe right, your conversation can begin. Alternatively. Bumble, another app has the unique feature that, in opposite sex pairings, women have to make the first move by initiating a conversation.

If you’re looking for something a little more considered, it may be worth considering paying for a premium platform. These may help you meet people who are more serious about dating. Telegraph Dating, has an intelligent two way matching feature, designed to help you find like-minded members more easily based on your likes and preferences.

2. Create the perfect dating profile

Most dating websites require a fleshed out profile, complete with photos, a short biography, and a list of things you’re searching for in a partner. If you can find a free hour during the week, get to work on writing that perfect profile.

A good dating profile keeps things to the point, is positive and upbeat, and offers a balance between what you’re like as a person, and what you’re looking for in a partner. Most importantly, it is honest and upfront. If you’re a single parent dating it’s usually a good idea to indicate this on your profile. You don’t have to talk about your kids at length, or include them in any of your photos, but making it clear that they are your top priority will help potential dates understand your commitments. Not everyone is looking for a relationship with someone who has children, and it’s ultimately better for you if you can weed out these people early on.

3. Make your own decisions

Dating at any time of life can usher in a lot of unsolicited advice from friends, family members and strangers. But when you’re a single parent dating it tends to go into overdrive. Married friends will try to live vicariously through you. Single friends with no kids will want to drag you out to bars. Perhaps most frustratingly, there will be people reminding you of the negatives of trying to date as a single parent.

If there are people in your life passing judgement on your dating life or suggesting that, as a single parent, you will struggle to find lasting love, simply don’t listen. This kind of input isn’t always meant unkindly, but you shouldn’t let it influence your behaviour.

4. Prepare for your first date

So you’ve matched with someone online, and you’ve hit it off. When you do meet in person, make sure you’ve set aside enough time to make the experience stress-free. Book a babysitter for the night, clear your schedule of housework and work commitments, and spend some time getting ready to ensure that you look and feel your best. 

Even something as simple as hitting the shops to buy a new date-night dress or crisp white shirt can help boost your confidence. If the date goes well – great! But remember there’s no pressure to rush into a second one unless it feels completely right.

5. Don’t feel guilty

You may have feelings of guilt when you leave your children to go on a date. Of course you have a duty as a parent, but you also need to look after your own wellbeing. The contentment that a romantic partner can bring often has a positive effect on people around you – including your children.

As a single parent dating, you may worry how your children will react to your new partner. However, don’t let a feeling of guilt stand in the way of starting a new chapter in your life. 

Of course you need to be sensitive to your children’s feelings, so it’s important to be transparent with them and keep communication open.

When it comes to former partners – the mother or father of your children – you have no obligation to heed their dating advice or fill them in on every detail of your love life, particularly if they’re being difficult.

6. Take your time

Perhaps the best piece of advice for a single parent dating is to be patient. Looking for love should be fun and positive, and putting pressure on yourself to find someone will quickly transform the experience into something stressful and negative. Instead of rushing into something, use those apps to get to know a potential match so you can plan that perfect first meet-up.

And for introducing your partner and kids

Once you’ve built a rapport with a particular person, don’t rush into that first meeting with your children. There’s no harm in waiting for your relationship as a couple to develop. 

Introducing someone new to your children is an important step, and shouldn’t be done before you, your partner and your children are ready.

7. Try to keep a balanced life

As a parent, you may be used to balancing childcare with work commitments and your own interests. When you begin dating, do your best to maintain that balance rather than turning your attention entirely to seeking a new partner.    

Interested in taking the first step?

If you're single and interested in meeting like-minded people, join Telegraph Dating. With more than 220,000 like-minded single people, this could be the best place to find romance.

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