- + I Don't Have Time —My 5 year old daughter drew a nice picture of a princess and beautiful flowers and sunshine. Then she brought the picture to her daddy and said, "...
- + Archaeologist Husbands —An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have... The older she gets, the more interested he is in her. #joke #short Read mor...
- + Children For Sale —After a rough day spent corralling my rowdy kids, I’d had enough. “I think I’m going to sell them,” I hissed to my sister. “You’re crazy,” she said. “...
- + After I Win the Lottery —Two old men are sitting on a bench. A truck passes on the road. It is pulling a trailer loaded with turf. One of the men says, "See, that's w...
- + A Clean Getaway —Little Johnny's mother is making lunch when Johnny comes in from playing outside, covered in dirt. "Johnny, you need to clean up for dinner,&...
- + Keeping Score in Golf —My 5-year-old nephew, Felix, wanted to caddy for my brother's golf game. "You have to count my strokes," my brother told him. "How ...
- + Supporting A Family —The prospective son-in-law was asked by his girlfriend's father, "Son, can you support a family?" "Well, no, sir," he replied,...
- + Half-A-Day Of School —Teacher: "Children, there will be only a half-day of school this morning." Johnny (in back seat): "Whoopee! Hurray!" Teacher: &quo...
- + Spent Youth —Told my daughter at 20 to get a job or sleep in the garage... 20 years later she has done wonders with the garage! #joke #short Read...
- + Bathroom Door —Danny, caught off-guard, yells at his roommate, "Dude! Why are you taking a bath with the bathroom door open?" His roommate David replies, &...
- + The Pain of Childbirth —A mom and her children watched a PBS special showing the birth of a baby. One fascinated child asked, "Mom, does that hurt?" "Oh, yes, ...
- + Saving Money —"Hey, cabby! How much to take me to the station?" "Five bucks, sir." "And how much for my suitcase?" "No charge for...
- + The Food Search Diet —I do not believe in diets. The closest I've been to a diet is erasing the food searches from my browser history. #joke #short #food ...
- + Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? —Did anyone hear about George Clooney's new genealogical website? It's called, "Oh, Brother Where Art Thou." #joke #short ...
- + Newborn Camel —A baby camel was born at the zoo last week and the poor thing had no hump... So they named him Humphrey. #joke #short #animal #camel ...
- + Over The Hill —1. You know you're over the hill when you are arranging your hair instead of combing it. 2. You know you're over the hill when your idea of a ...
- + A Doggy Fever —Your veterinarian won't tell you this but if your dog is running a fever, go to the store and buy some mustard. It's the best thing for a hot ...
- + An Uptight Diagnosis —My doctor's diagnosis was that I have high blood pressure. I took that diagnosis with a grain of salt. #joke #short #food #salt ...
- + Navigation Gone Wild —I turned on the navigation device in the car and it began to flirt with me! Just then I realized I'd hit the wrong button and was listing to an a...
- + Strangers In The Night —A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 a.m. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies,"How am I supposed to know? ...
As of 11/14/25 1:05pm. Last new 11/10/25 1:03pm. Score: 521
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